Anger Causes Change
by marycasa13
Summary: “NO You don’t know. How DARE you accuse me of being an alcoholic, you don’t know what its like having your wife avoid you, and having half of your CHILDREN take her side, so don’t even TRY to get me to stop drinking, okay! Slight, hinted JO...maybe.


Anger Causes Change,

"Hey El, want to go grab something to eat real quick with me and Munch? It's pretty late, but I think the café across town is still open." Offered Olivia, as she and Munch got up to grab their coats. Fin would have wanted to come along too, but he was so exhausted after their last case that he went home about an hour before, at the captain's request.

Olivia sighed when Elliot ignored her. She knew he was having trouble at home with his wife, but the bad attitude he had around the squad and the cold shoulder he was giving her were beginning to become too much.

"Elliot?" She tried again. He looked up with a hard, unreadable expression on his face, and said, "Thanks, but I'll just go home."

Munch came up alongside Olivia, beside Elliot's desk.

"You sure, Elliot? You must be pretty starving. It's been a long day for all of us." Said Munch lightly.

"Look, I said I was going home, okay? I can cook for myself. I'll go home and eat." Olivia knew Elliot was close to losing his temper, but her concern for him as a partner and friend won over on her better judgement when she stated, "You mean you'll go home and drink."

Elliot voice lowered dangerously, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Olivia lost some of her confidence and didn't speak up. Munch jumped in on the conversation for her. As tactfully as he could, he explained, "You've been coming in to work hung over every day for the past few weeks, Stabler. Don't even pretend to think it isn't obvious."

Elliot barked out a laugh, "Oh, so you two are _concerned_ for me, is that it?"

"Yeah, El. We're concerned. Pardon us for caring." Replied Olivia harshly, fed up with her partner's anger, but at the same time knowing saying anything more would make it worse. She continued anyway, in an attempt to get through to him,

"And excuse me for worrying when my friend and partner starts showing warning signs of becoming an alcoholic! I know what those signs are more than anything, or are you not aware of that? I know you're having some trouble at home, but do you realize that one night you could walk out of some bar and fall and kill yourself, just like my mother did?!"

Elliot had enough. Blinded with anger, his eyes flashed as he ground his teeth together and clenched his fists. Olivia winced inwardly, but kept her strong face on as he sprung out of his chair and took a step toward her. Munch instinctively took a step forward also, in case the worst happened and he had to protect Olivia from her partner's rage.

"You think you know what I'm going through, do you?!" sneered Elliot.

"Well, I- Olivia began.

"NO! You don't know. How DARE you accuse me of being an alcoholic, you don't know what it's like having your wife avoid you, and having half of your_ CHILDREN_ take her side, so don't even TRY to get me to stop drinking, okay?! Because unless you share mypain, you have no authority over how I stop it!"

Olivia knew at this point she should just keep her mouth shut, but anger overcame her,

"Fine, let all the stress of bottling your feelings up, and all the _alcohol_, kill you then! See if I care!" Munch put a hand on her shoulder, keeping her back. He shot Elliot a glare, warning him not to continue. Elliot ignored him.

"A little bit of alcohol is not going to kill me, Benson! Your mother was drinking to stop her pain too! But did you ever think that maybe she wanted to die?! I'm not drinking myself to DEATH! Maybe your mother did, maybe she killed herself! Parents don't always have it easy, and sometimes they can't take it! Sometimes they try to end it all! Me, I know my life's worth living, so I'm living it MY OWN WAY! You and Munch, well, I guess your parents were another story."

His last sentence was less of a yell and more of a threatening growl, but when he realized what he said, and finally focused on the hurt, angry faces before him, he stumbled backwards, "Oh god- He cut himself off as he fell back into his chair, covering his eyes in his palms.

"I don't know why I blew up like that, it was uncalled for, I'm-

"Save it Stabler." Barked Olivia. "I don't want to hear it." She stormed off and sat back at her desk, furiously scribbling away on her paperwork. When Elliot looked at her, he could see tears rolling down her cheeks.

"John," He began, desperately, hesitantly, "I-

"That was a low blow Stabler," A mixture of sadness and anger crept into his voice, "real low. Don't ask for my forgiveness," He laughed bitterly, " Because right now you sure as hell aren't getting it."

Munch walked briskly to Olivia's desk, and with a gentle, supporting arm on her back, he led her outside with him. Once they were out of Elliot's earshot completely, he asked, "Olivia, are you okay?"

"I don't know John," she said, anger towards Elliot still deeply rooted in her voice, "are you?"

"Well, I'm certainly not happy to hear him mention my father, if that's what you're asking." At Olivia's questioning glance, he clarified, "My father killed himself when I was 13."

"Oh. I didn't know, John. I'm so sorry." Said Olivia sincerely, finally understanding why Elliot's outburst had affected him too, she was silent for a moment, and then asked,

"Wait, if I didn't know about...about your father, how did Elliot find out?"

"Stabler probably found out snooping around in other people's business, like he always does." Replied Munch abruptly, hatefully.

They stood at the front of the building for a few moments, both of them seething with silent anger, but trying their best to control it so they could go back inside, if not to face Elliot, than to at least ignore him properly. After a while though, Olivia spoke up,

"I can't deal with him anymore, John. Not with his violent tendencies, and not with his temper. Tomorrow I'm going to the captain and telling him I want to switch partners." There was a note of finality in her voice that Munch respected. He nodded. "Good, that should give Elliot quite the wake-up call. I'll come with you. I want to express my...objections, to his behavior also."

Olivia smiled up at him, glad that for once, she had someone who could share, understand, and ease her pain.

The next morning, Munch and Olivia walked past Elliot's desk without glancing at him, and headed straight for Cragen's office.

"Olivia, John, what's up?" He asked, in a way of greeting. Munch opened his mouth to answer, but Olivia beat him to the punch.

"Captain, I want to switch partners." If Cragen was surprised by this reply, he didn't show it. Instead, he inquired, "Did something happen between you and Elliot, do you think you're becoming too close again?"

"Actually Captain, it's the complete opposite. John and I voiced our concerns about his current unhealthy drinking habits, and his problems with his wife, and he blew up at us." Stated Olivia.

"Yeah, he mentioned something about "he wasn't drinking himself to death," and that_ his_ life was "worth living." He said our parents, however, were different stories. I thought he was going to punch Liv! He's out of control captain." Supplied Munch, doing his best at holding his anger in check.

The captain sighed wearily. He got up to open his door and bellowed into the squad room, "Elliot! Get in here!" He walked back to his desk and waited. Elliot was, thankfully, smart enough to obey immediately. Once he was seated, the captain began formerly, "Detective Stabler, the news I have gotten from your colleagues about your drinking habits and recent behavior towards them both concerns, and disturbs me. Until you can get yourself under control, and actually learn to respect your fellow detectives, I'm placing you on an indeterminate amount of desk duty."

Throughout the whole speech, Cragen's voice was clear and precise, but also harsh and disappointed. He faced Olivia and Munch,

" As for your request, Detective Benson, in order to keep the squad together, I must agree. You will from now on be partnered with Detective Munch. Elliot, when you are allowed back on the streets, you will be partnered with Fin. Unless of course, you have yelled at him and insulted his family also?" Cragen was having a very hard time keeping his anger in check at this point, and his last remark came out harsh and bitingly. Elliot turned his head slowly to meet the gazes of Olivia and Munch. They both stared back at him, clearly still angry, but also accepting of his silent, seemingly sincere apology. A lot could be said without using real words.

_I might be able to truly forgive Elliot eventually, _decided Olivia silently, her eyes still scanning his apologetic face, _but I don't think I will be able to trust him as a partner or friend for a long time._

She looked away from him, successfully breaking away from his stare, and from her own thoughts simultaneously, and turned to Cragen. She nodded her thanks in his direction, and then faced Munch, smiling slightly.

"Come on, I need to get you up to date on some of the cases I've been working on." She got up from her seat with one last, fleeting glace at Elliot, and Munch came out of the office right after her, calling out with a smirk evident in his voice, "Right behind you, partner!"

Olivia laughed loudly.

_Today may be the end to something great, but it also could be the beginning of something better._

She smiled at her slightly corny, but one hundred percent true realization, and sat down at her desk, pulling a few files out of the top drawer. Munch slid his own desk up next to hersand together they looked through all of them, becoming familiar with the cases that they would hopefully end up solving in the next few months,

Together.


End file.
